It’s Not Me — It’s You

Why do we tend to blame ourselves first?

I’m at an offsite workshop for a couple of days and yesterday a fellow participant mentioned to the group where he went to college. It happens to be an ACC school, something you don’t often hear in these parts (the Midwest). So, being a UVa. alum, I tried to strike up a conversation about our common background during a break.

It didn’t go particularly well. I got short answers and it quickly ended with one of those awkward pauses where we both sort of smile and nod, realizing there’s not much more to say.

So all morning I was thinking I was the problem. Then in a later session he revealed he was an introvert and very bad at “the small talk.”

Such a relief! Suddenly I realized the problem wasn’t me, it was us. Two small-talk averse individuals stuck in a forced, awkward encounter.

I’m glad I’m not one of those people who reflexively blames others for everything. But I do sometimes envy their uncomplicated world view.

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About Rob Biesenbach

Rob Biesenbach is a communications expert, actor, author and public speaker. He is a former VP at Ogilvy PR Worldwide and press secretary to the Ohio Attorney General, among other positions. He is also a Second City trained actor and improviser who has appeared in more than 150 theatrical, commercial and film productions in the past decade. His book, Act Like You Mean Business: Essential Communication Lessons from Stage and Screen, was published in 2011 by Brigantine Media.
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2 Responses to It’s Not Me — It’s You

  1. I’m so glad you found that out about him, no need to carry unnecessary baggage around. Enjoyed the post.

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